With the changing of the seasons, and the holidays quickly approaching, I find my heart becoming anxious. The calendar begins to fill with appointments, activities, and commitments. The days feel shorter with the loss of daylight. Planning time off work for enjoying the holidays inevitably creates more stress knowing there are less days to complete all the tasks I must manage. So easily the joy of the coming celebrations morphs into a sense of overwhelm and desire to just get through it.
Why have we created an existence focused on producing versus resting? The commercialism of the holidays combined with the hustle of the American work model does not lend to rest. The focus shifts from celebration to obligation. The pressure to have the most beautifully decorated home, the greatest Christmas light display, the most delicious meal overshadows the joy of the company we entertain.
While I love my family and want to spend time with them making memories, I often find myself wanting to stay home in my jammies with just my husband and son and skip the shuffling from one house to the next. My soul craves rest, peace, joy. I crave simplicity.
Pondering, I ask “Are we doing it all wrong?” After all, Jesus was born in the most simple and humble circumstances. Surrounded by barnyard animals and placed in a manger of hay, there were no trees adorned with ornaments and lights. There were no piles of gifts wrapped in fancy paper, just a single offering from each of the wise men. The stripped down love of God wrapped in swaddling clothes. How beautiful it must have been!
Perhaps, you have experienced how quickly the excitement of receiving material gifts fades quickly, as you find yourself wanting the next newest, coolest thing. In my experience, my family rarely remembers what gifts they received. What is remembered is the experience of opening the gifts, being surrounded by family, and the joy and peace of those moments.
What if we un-gifted Christmas?
Instead of asking our kids for a list of items they want, charging up our credit cards, and striving to keep gifts under wraps, we walked into Christmas with the sole focus of celebrating the birth of Jesus. What if we let go of the societal expectations of decorating, overspending, and enduring toxic family gatherings? Instead, we reflect on what is most important and consciously choose to create a Christmas celebration that is centered on peace, love, joy, rest, and giving honor to God. I don’t know about you, but just the idea of simplifying lifts a heavy burden of stress from my shoulders.
The magic of Christmas morning is not found in the plastic toys or gadgets. It is found in the anticipation of receiving a gift that makes us feel seen and loved. The simple Christmases are the ones I remember best and most fondly.
One of the most cherished Christmas mornings I can remember is when my son Cole was five years old. He loved banging on everything, a drummer from birth. He asked for a real drum set for Christmas. Cole had long since destroyed the little play drum set he received a few years prior. In the absence of a proper kit, he would surround himself with pillows and bang on them with his beloved drumsticks. My husband Rob and I were not in a financial position to buy a new drum set, but I found a used kit and made arrangements to make payments until it was paid in full. I worked a side job to save up the money to afford the gift. After my son was sound asleep on Christmas eve, Rob and I worked to set up the drums as quietly as possible. We didn’t know how a drum set was meant to be positioned, but we managed to put all the pieces together and make it presentable for our little drummer boy.
Early on Christmas morning, Cole came to our bed anxious to see if Santa had, indeed, left him the drums he so badly wanted. Equipped with the camera, I went ahead to capture his reaction when he walked into the living room. His face lit up with surprise; his heart overflowed with joy. He settled in on the little stool, picked up the drumsticks, and began pounding on the drums. Our hearts could have burst with the joy and love we felt watching him discover and explore the gift. The cost of the gift didn’t matter. The fact that it was second-hand made no difference. What mattered was that our son felt seen, heard, and loved.
None of us remember any of the other gifts exchanged that year nor the gifts of many of the other years of his young life. The simplicity of that one cherished gift and the memory seared in our brains of pure joy and love was everything. We have had Christmases of abundance and others of meagerness. When Rob was unable to work due to recovering from surgeries, and I was working two jobs to make ends meet, the women from my small group delivered gifts to our home. That sweet and simple Christmas I will cherish always, for we were loved well. Other Christmases, we served and delivered meals to the community, then spent the remainder of our day lounging at home watching movies, eating sweets, and taking naps.
You may find yourself struggling with the idea of limiting the gifts, the decorations, the big meal. If these things don’t cause you undue stress or financial strain and you find joy in it, by all means, continue on. However, if you find yourself overwhelmed and just trying to make it through the holidays, consider the ways in which you could simplify.
Un-gifting Christmas is about rediscovering the love, excitement, and joy of the celebration.
As you move into the holiday season, I pray that you will find ways to replace your stress with rest, anxiety with peace, and obligation with celebration. May you un-gift Christmas to find the magic and beauty in the simple, and may you remember God’s love through the humble birth of His son Jesus Christ.
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